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    August 11, 2006

    Squirrel attended Penguin training camp

    In a KP Cubed exclusive, it has been learned that the squirrel terrorizing Florida had attended a penguin training camp. "It seems the the squirrel (whose name is being with held as unpronouncable) attended a training camp located somewhere in antartica," said a local official investigating the incident.

    The squirrel had attacked several people, including children over the last month. It had also been seen randomly lobbing acorns into the populated areas of the park. "We are pretty sure the acorns where supplied by the penguins because of their type. We are still tracking down all the leads."

    A local man momentarily caught the squirrel, but was forced to let itgo when the authorities where unable to get an UN resolution signed in time after France ran away from itself. Finally, an elite team of park rangers was able to apprehend the suspect.

    The squirrel is now be held in a luxury dorm room with 3 meals a day and free healthcare, including a rabies check, as the Supreme Court has ordered.