Where are they now- The Saturday before election

“AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!” Ted woke up in an alcoholic sweat. “Where am I? What’s going on?” “It’s OK.” said a full bottle of Jack Daniel’s. “You’re with friends now.” “But there was water everywhere, I was running. Where’s my friend Jose?” “Not to worry,” said Jack, “everything will be swept away. You finished with Jose last night, but I am here now.” Ted pulled Jack closer and quickly swallowed him. The pleasant numbness started to take hold. “OK. Who do I need to call to clean up what?” “Don’t worry. We took care of that last night.” Said a small bottle of Bailey’s Ted had not noticed before. "Right now we need to make a call." "Who are we calling?" "A certain anti-devil in South America." Meanwhile back on the Gore invented super highway… MAF54: So what are you wearing? TEDH73: Uhhh. A suit. MAF54: I bet you look great in it. TEDH73: I guess. You know I am not gay. MAF54: I know, me either. TEDH73: I thought you already admitted you where gay? MAF54: Oh yeah. But it is because a preist touched me when I was young. Are you a priest? TEDH73: I am the president of the Evangelicals. MAF54: MMMMM. That sound’s hot. TEDH73: I guess. Sooooo…Can you get meth? MAF54: Maybe….What’s it worth to you? TEDH73: Well I like massages… Meanwhile back in the Afghanistan cave… “So we have all our people voting democrat in the states”, said the man with the long beard and dialysis machine. “Good…Good. Then I think we have a deal. We will have the troops cut and, I mean redeployed as soon as we take office.” Nancy said with a grin. “Great. That sounds good. But I do have one question. Isn’t the President in control of foreign affairs, and isn’t he the one who decides on the troop placement as he is the top commander. So even though you are running on a ‘pull the troops out’ campaign, you have very little say in what actually happens in Iraq? That’s the constitution and all.” “Look Lambada,” screamed Harry,”I have a state sponsored education and I have no idea what you are talking about constitution this and constitution that, but if we win then we win something or other. And then people no we are right. Trust me I know a lot about real estate.” Meanwhile back in the closet... "Theresa, can I come out yet. I have a new joke. Knock, Knock. Who's there. Our troops are idiots. See. See. That plainly shows how I feel about George." Theresa just shook her head and added another bolt to the door. TO BE CONTINUED… Read or Die... IMAO - A painful learning sensation.